If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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