what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
