i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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