I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
