ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
