mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
