Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
