the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
