I think scott just propositioned me for sex
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
