Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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