I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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