My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
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