its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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