Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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