Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
