the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
