so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
