if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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