pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have aggressive nipples.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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