I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
