her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Randomize
