i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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