I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
