Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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