Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
