why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
