please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
