I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
