is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
