you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Your penis caused this!
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