He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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