my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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