i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
