when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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