I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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