she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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