Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
