Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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