who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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