i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
