We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you didnt know i had herpes?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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