I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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