thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm just crazy horny about you
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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