Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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