Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
