I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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