my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
