Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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