The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
