Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
