But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
