dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
