how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
